avatar where art thou
by Earthboy111
Summary: Someone messaged me, and requested I continue this story, and so I am it's a short chapter but more are coming.
1. Perptual twilight

I hope you guys like my first avatar fic, I won't tell who the leading lady is until the second chapter, tell me what you think.

Water, Earth, Fire, Air long ago the four nations lived together in harmony, then everything changed when the fire nation attacked, only the Avatar master of all four elements could stop them, but when the world needed him most he vanished. Ten years ago a girl named Katara, and her brother Sokka found the new Avatar an air bender but at a great personal price. Katara is gone; I brought her body home, and gave her a burial at sea, like she would want. After that though I couldn't even bring myself to look at Sokka, Toph, or Zuko and for the second time in my life I ran, I ran from everything and I haven't looked back once, that is until last week…

You see after I defeated Ozai, Iroh took his rightful place as ruler of the fire nation, took Azula into custody, and signed a treaty with the earth and water nations ending the war. A month ago he passed, and named Zuko as his successor. I had heard he asked for quite the unique funeral service, body burned, ashes scattered at sea, to the wind, and some buried below the earth. Last week I went to pay my respects to the burial site, it saddened me to look on his grave; he had offered many words of wisdom during my fire bending training. I was only there a few moments before a woman dressed all in black even the veil draped over her face, took a place beside me at the grave and bowed her head. I nodded to her and began to make my way down the path only to have her voice halt me.

"_How did you know the Fire Lord?"_

I turned back to the lady in mourning; it felt like it had been years since I had spoken to anyone. I like my privacy, mind you I have never once abandoned my duties as the avatar, but that was the first time in ten years I spoke to anyone on a personal level.

"_He was my teacher many years ago, a great…if not somewhat silly man"_

Again I experienced something I had avoided for a long time, she laughed ever so lightly, she must have known him. I remember thinking that this woman must be of noble birth, by her expensive dress and the way she held herself, but there was strength to her that…well it reminded me of her, of Katara. Again the lady in black surprised me by asking to meet with her at a café in the nearby town. I intended to stand her up and go about my business like I always do when someone expresses a desire to spend time with me, but for some reason I found myself sitting in the "ember's glow" the next morning. True to it's name the restaurant was dimly lit bowls of hot embers being the only light source gave the interior a feeling of perpetual twilight. A light smoke which smelt of spice permeated the air, that same smoke seemed to swirl around her as she took the seat across from me. The combination of smoke and lighting served the same purpose as the veil did the day before, hiding her face from my gaze. I thought it would be better that way if I never saw her face then I would hold no attachment to her, for that same reason I never asked her name. we exchanged pleasantries for a time, and I will admit it was nice to speak with someone again, Until that is she began asking about me, I told her my name was Mushi, I couldn't help smiling at that, though she didn't seem to notice.

She asked if I had been able to attend the funeral service, I explained I was indisposed at the time, which was true, I had been helping to rebuild an earth village that was hit by a tidal wave, of course I omitted that part, I don't like calling attention to myself as the avatar unless it's necessary, that's why I grew out my hair and wear gloves (arrow tattoos are a dead give away). All and all I enjoyed the meal, and despite myself the company. I began to excuse myself but as I stood she spoke.

"_Will you be traveling to the earth kingdom anytime soon? I'll be going back day after tomorrow, and I'd like a traveling companion"_

Before I could think I found myself nodding, and agreeing to accompany her to the earth kingdom. We made arrangements to take her carriage to a nearby port, and I found myself smiling as I left that café. When I got back to the inn I was staying at, I lay on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. My mind kept going back to this woman, why did wasn't I able to distance myself, to brush her off like everyone else? I just couldn't put my finger on it. I did manage to get myself to sleep but the dream played again, every night for ten years I see her….burning over and over as Ozai cackles, that is until I silence him. The result was the same as always I wake up in a cold sweat right as I snuff out the former Firelord for good, and as I did then I feel empty and unsatisfied, only to have those images greet me again when I fall back to sleep. I have not had a good night's sleep in ten long years.

The next day I went to the address she had given me, she suggested we spend the day getting to know each other better, and I inexplicably agreed. She like myself was staying at a local inn, however I would soon find out my assessment of her nobility was confirmed, the inn in which she stayed was twice the size as mine. I found her sitting by the reflecting pool, behind the main building. I spoke to her back remembering my rule about becoming attached.

"_Perhaps, we should reconsider traveling together tomorrow, I'm not one for companion ship, for reasons I would rather not talk about."_

She nodded to me not turning to face me as she spoke. Her voice was odd she was demure and restrained, but at the same time there was strong independence as well. I found her fascinating, which again reinforced my assessment that I needed to take my leave of her.

"_I understand completely Mushi; we all have things about which we do not wish to speak. And since we won't be spending the long trip with one another we should make the best of today don't you think? So do tell where in the earth kingdom do you hail from."_

Her comment threw me, I had never displayed any earth bending nor did I wear earth kingdom garb. So why would she automatically assume I resided there? I played along with her, there was no harm in it, and I couldn't reveal my true origins.

"_Kyoshi island, but how did you know I was earth kingdom."_

Her answer gave me an odd sort of insight into myself, let me look at what I was from a fresh pair of eyes, and I am sad to say part of me did not like the view, because I knew she spoke truth.

"_It's the way you hold yourself, the way you move, you are very strong you're steps are firm, as if weighed down by something, there is no lightness to your step, like a very serious earth bender."_

She had me down and I couldn't deny her words, so insightful, and eloquent curiosity got the better of me, I had to look on the face of this women who knew me even better then I knew myself. I walked forward to look at her reflection, at least then I wouldn't have to make eye contact with her. But when I looked down into the water and upon the face of this woman who had intrigued me so, I stumbled back. How could I have missed it? After all this time why couldn't I tell? She was….

Tune in for the next chapter ;)


	2. Those Eyes

Those eyes, those silver pools contrasting the raven locks which fell before them. In an instant I knew upon whom I looked a fixture of the past I'd so desperately tried to avoid this long decade. I stared into those orbs for a moment knowing they could not return my gaze. Though unseeing there remained a depth to them the window to her soul was not obscured by her blindness, I could see strength within them still, but more than that was the sadness, though she wore a pleasant enough emotional mask, anyone who knew Toph as I had would see that it was just that, a mask. I studied her eyes for a short while before I allowed my gaze to wander over her face, she'd grown quite lovely. Her expressions were not as hard as they had been in years hence, though if one knew to look for it, remnants of the girl she'd once been could still be gleaned from her features. The curve of a smile or the tilt of her head hinted at the audacious, irrepressible nature she'd once possessed, other than that though it was nigh inconceivable that the demure restrained woman before and the girl I once knew were one and the same.

Though her identity was now clear to me, it seemed, I was still unknown to her, it would seem I, as well as my voice, had changed enough to fool her senses, now I was just another earth bender. I decided to support this pretence as it would make our inevitable parting not only swifter but easier for her as well. Again I tried to take my leave of her, prepared to say a simple farewell, but I found myself unable to produce the desired words, instead I found myself asking "_Excuse me but if I'm not mistaken you are Toph Beifong are you not?" _My question did hold some risk, for I was unaware of the degree of her prominence, though I was certain that the change in her attitude, and her obvious wealth were the result of her accepting some active role in her eminent family. Her reaction saddened me more still; she turned, smiled kindly at me and with just the tiniest of giggles said _"well that certainly took you long enough." _The giggle was light and her tone playful and sincere, that which would be expected of a reserved member of a royal court, replacing the sarcastic wit that I knew in my heart was the way in which those words should have been spoken. _"It is not often I meet an earth bender who cannot identify me on sight, and I am sorry I am not accepting bending students nor am I searching for a husband." _ Still the sweetness of her tone was as a knife through my heart, there was no boasting of her bending prowess when she mentioned it, there was no smirk adorning her face. It was sheer agony to see all that she once was perverted into this was nearly more than I could bear.

I averted my eyes from her unable to look at the corrupted visage of my once unconstrained comrade, but what I found as I looked away was yet more horrifying. I looked into the clear waters of the reflecting pond finding my own image there, but it was not my own, it was the image of a man far too old for his age. A humorless face and old faded eyes, a defeated creature that had too long been in the dark, I realized that what had caused me such sadness in Toph was found ten fold within myself. There was nothing left of the aloof young air bender, the boy whose foremost thoughts were about how to enjoy life, what was left in that man I saw in the pond was simply "The Avatar" a dutiful cold individual, who shied away from the pleasures of life, but even that appearance was untrue. The truth of the situation was that there was no man there just a scared and simple child who had been hurt and now never wanted to be hurt again. I began to weep and fell to my knees.

Toph was silent as she turned and wrapped her arms around me comforting me though not knowing the reason for my sorrow. I held close to her, perhaps she thought I was simply an emotional suitor, and that would be fine for now, because I did not want her to realize who I was, not because I wanted to make the separation easier, but because I didn't want her to know what I'd become.

My tears stopped abruptly though, from the first comfort I'd had since realizing her identity. My proximity to her allowed me to realize that her scent had not changed, there were no perfumes, or flowery lotions, she still smelt of the earth. As I pulled from her arms I began to wonder what prompted the metamorphosis from "the blind bandit" to Toph Beifong into whose eyes I stared. As I wiped the last of the moister from my eyes, she made no attempt to pry into the cause of my outburst and for that I was grateful. I took a seat beside her and gazed again into the reflecting pool looking at the two strangers depicted there. "_I am something of a history buff..." _I said to her, finally finding a valid enough reason to ask my question. _"and I was hoping you could tell me more about your time with the avatar, and what happened to you after the war, there are rumors yes but I wish to know the truth." _Again I bluffed having no idea how much of her life was made public, but again my bluff succeeded. Her eyes grew sadder, and she bowed her head slightly, as soft as her voice had been before it was little more than a mournful whisper now. _"No one has asked me that in a very long time…but I will tell you." _ And as she spoke, I allowed my mind to wander back, something before today I would never have allowed for fear that once revisited the memories would stay and taunt me. My fears were unjustified, I looked back fondly, recalling sitting in the stands with Sokka…and Katara, it was the first time I allowed her name to ring in my mind for years, I couldn't bring myself to envision her, no I blotted her image away in the memory, but I did think her name. I found that my expressions mimicked hers, smiling with the good memories, and regretful of the sad. Soon her story came to that fateful night, luckily for me she was not able to describe it in detail, having been keeping the firelord's guards at bay with Sokka as Katara and I went after him. Then she began the story of what happened after the war…


	3. A long long way

"..._Aang left, I think it was all too much for him, I wanted to stay, and comfort Sokka, but I knew I had a home of my own to get to. A week after Katara's funeral I said my goodbyes and boarded a ship to the earth kingdom. I arrived home to find my parents drowning in debt, they'd spent every thing and then some on the war effort and finding me. I was responsible, and I needed to make things right. At first I did what I always did, I fought winning every earth bending tournament within a hundred miles of my home, even then it was barely enough to sustain us and keep the debt collectors at bay. I decided to change my strategy, I knew enough of formal society to set up meetings with my father's former business associates. I told them of my intent of starting an exclusive earth-bending school with me as the instructor. After a demonstration of my skills they agreed to give my family one last loan, so that I could have the chance at making it all back. Many of their children were the first students, mostly spoiled boys and girls who did not react well with my teaching method at the time, I used to be a bit...rough around the edges. One of their fathers threatened to pull him from classes and take back the money he invested, I swallowed my pride and changed my methods. Soon my school flourished and the wealthy elite were paying the massive tuition I demanded. It's taken me the better part of a decade, but the Beifong family has finally reclaimed it's rightful place. I still help my father, but he has mostly taken back the financial reigns, and with the school now being taught by my more senior students I am free to resume the nomadic existence I enjoyed so much in my youth, though without my friends I find it to be somewhat less satisfying, too quiet I think. Where are my manners I must be boring you._"

She spoke with pride how she'd dragged her family from the depths of poverty, and it gladdened me to hear her describe herself as nomadic. Though if one knew to look for it as I do, hints of sadness and regret were readily gleaned from her words, and the idea of her forced to capitulate to a pompous aristocrat I'm not ashamed to say angered me greatly.

"_Not in the least._" I offered in response to her modest conclusion. "_I did ask you after all, but if you're returning to the earth kingdom tomorrow does that mean you're returning home?_" I worried if she found travel so dissatisfactory that she might abandon the endeavor all together. "_Oh my no, I need only stop at Ba Sing Se for an audience with the earth-king on my family's behalf. After that I'll be making my way south to visit Sokka and Suki in the sourthen water tribe._

"_It's good to know you all still stay in touch, the whole world owes you. . .and the Avatar an impossible debt of thanks._" I said with a sigh of relief I found myself wading into the most unfamiliar waters of nostalgia, the time spent with Toph, Sokka, even thinking finally, and fondly back on Katara. One particular night stuck out, thanks to her mention of the earth nation Capital. Towards the end with us camping out in the fire nation all of us around a fire, Zuko sulking -as usual- while the rest of us sang along with Iroh, and without realizing it the words began to flow from my lips.

It's a long long way

To Ba Sing Se

But the girls in the city

They look so pretty

And they kiss so sweet

That you've really got to meet

The girls from Ba Sing Se

Grinning ear to ear I sang loudly, and most likely off key before settling contently on a nearby stone. I was resolved to travel with her once again, at least as far as the south of the earth kingdom, I didn't think myself ready to face Sokka but I couldn't let her continue with an unsatisfactory journey. Looking up to tell her the news I'd changed my mind and would be able to travel with her, I found this time her eyes moist with tears. My heart sank, concerned I'd reminded her of the lost firelord. The reality of the situation however was worse than I could have hoped.

"_Twinkle-toes?_"


	4. Reflected Loss

Without realizing it, I'd allowed my self to lift from the ground whilst singing, the airbending that had come so naturally in my youth, was amongst my lesser used adult talents. Though it seemed I was not out of practice, she'd felt me lift from the ground, the same way I had when I bested her on our first meeting. Still slowly returning to full footing I bit my lip knowing I'd been found out, there was nothing I could do but offer.

"_Hello, Toph Beifong."_ My words quaked as they left my throat unsure to what her reaction might be, would she cry, or run off angry at me. The reaction it did elicit however caused me to grin ear to ear. Over the years I'd become adapt not only in bending but in many forms of hand to hand combat, couple that with the vibration training Toph herself had given me, I saw her untrained punch coming the instant she resolved to throw it. I however didn't move or attempt to block, it made me so happy I couldn't bring myself to prevent it.

"_What's the idea of screwing with me like that ya airhead, do you know how freaking worried I've been about you?"_ Laughing I picked myself up from the ground, spitting away the blood from my lip. She'd not trained in the martial arts, but her bending training left her strong as ever. More importantly, her words flowed natural, her stance solidifying completely, this was no demure flower of refinement any longer, no this was something far more beautiful, this was Toph Beifong.

"_I thought I'd lost you." _I laughed out as she spit to the ground beside her.

"_That's supposed to be my line, no word for ten years, only rumors that you're even still alive, you really have air for brains don't you?"_ But she was smiling, and tears were flowing down her face. She delivered another strong blow to my arm before pulling me into an even stronger embrace. I returned the gesture pulling her in close whispering my apology to her.

"_I'm, I'm sorry Toph, I was angry, and afraid. . ."_ Words failed me, but I knew she understood my intent, the way only an old friend could. We stood there like that a long while, not speaking, but communicating everything to one another. Eventually though we seperated I stared at her and knew the bare feet hidden under her dress were feeling every beat of my heart. In that moment I realized exactly what I'd been running from for so long, it wasn't the memory of Katara, or the guilt I felt taking the firelord's life that day. It was loss, if I had no one close to me, I couldn't lose them, like I lost Katara, like we lost Jet, and how my people were taken from me. In Toph though I saw a worse kind of loss, a loss of self, a loss that was reflected in me I'd been so rigid, I pushed away everything that had once made me happy out of fear. It took seeing her again to make me feel like an airbender again, and I knew having me there made her more comfortable, to be the way she'd been, the Toph I knew. I'd spent all this time taking care of world, keeping the balance, but the people I cared about most were thrown into complete chaos, I had to set it all right. After what felt like an eternity of silence I spoke.

"_Can we visit Zuko before we head to the southern water tribe?"_ She gave that telling smirk, and I felt my heart skip a beat, I could tell she felt it by the gentle blush that appeared on her cheeks before she shook it off, changing the subject.

"_Fine, but you better not slow me down twinkle toes"_ With that she took off, the earth bulging beneath her feet, carrying her in the direction of the fire lord's palace. I shook my head and with some (I'm embarrassed to say) difficulty I formed a ball of air beneath myself and shot off after her.


End file.
